Friday, April 4, 2008

My Grandpa

So my last living grandparent, my Grandpa Baker died last night. Unfortunately, my grandpa really didn't have a good relationship with his family and I don't think any of us are sad to see him go. I feel really badly about that, but there is not much I can do about that now. My grandpa was a stubborn, greedy, old man. I haven't seen him for years and I feel a little bad about that. The last time I remember seeing him was Christmastime in 1999 (I think I saw him after that, but this is my last real memory.) I had been married for 6 months and lived in Salt Lake City. Because I lived in the same place as my grandpa I felt the need to somehow have a relationship with him so I had been having dinner with him once a week. It was hard to do, because my grandpa was not an easy person to be around. He was a little obnoxious and rude and critical. He was the kind of person who always gets what they want and when they don't they get angry and never want to see you or deal with you again. That Christmas, my grandpa got it in his mind that he wanted to go to my parents house. Unfortunately, my husband and I were going to HIS family's house first and then going over to mine a couple of days later. But my grandpa wanted ME to take him. I told him that that just wasn't going to be possible. He got very upset and told me in very harsh words that he never wanted to see me again and that we were through. He took the bus that year and when we got to my parent's house, he was already there, but he wouldn't speak one word to me. So that is my last real memory of my grandpa. I have sent him Christmas Cards and pictures of my children every year, but that is it. I actually feel bad that I don't even care that he is gone. I feel bad for my mom who had a Dad like him and who had no relationship with her dad. (This coming from a daddy's girl). I feel bad that my grandpa was so angry and unhappy. But I guess that's just how it was.

So anyways, my parents and brothers are coming next week for the funeral and I will be helping my mom clean out his house and get it ready to sell and take care of anything that needs to. My brother's wedding is also coming up so I have a lot to do before then and I hope that I can get everything done. It's possible I will need to cancel my crops next week, but I'm not canceling them yet. I should know more tonight when we find out when the funeral is and when my parents are actually coming. I really do have a lot to do design-wise, but I just might have to let-go of some things and you all should know by now how hard that is for me. Anyways stay tuned and I'll let you know what happens.

Thanks for your support!

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Sharon Kay said...

DeDe don't feel so bad about it. Some people are just that way and you have to learn that they like being miserable...but you don't have to let them make you that way. {{hugs}} You have a lot on your plate right now... let me know (seriously) if there is anything I can do to help.

Anonymous said...

When I started reading your story about your grandpa, it sounded very, very familiar because it describes my brother almost to a tee. He has cut off all of his sisters and his mother for manufactured reasons and has demonized all of us. He will probably (sadly) have no one to mourn his death either (unless his mother is still alive, which is doubtful).

What can we say? Some people LIVE life and some people don't. Some people GET it, and some people don't. That's really their choice! We don't want to be trapped by the same delusions that imprison them.


June F. said...

Sorry to hear about your Grandpa. It sucks when some people have to be that way but you tried and did the best you could. ((Hugs))

Purple Princess said...

Wow... I certainly can sympathize with you. My paternal grandmother was somewhat like that.. very maninipulative. She could hold a grudge for decades... Its sad that some people are that way... but as other's have said... Don't let their misery steal your joy.

I hope things go well during this difficult time.

sweetheaven said...

Dede I am sorry you had a Grandpa that was like that. Some people are just to stubborn and unhappy to see what a wonderful family they have and they should count their blessings there are people that care about them. I pray that you find peace with this and remember it was his fault not yours.